The Client:
The Home Depot
The Project:
Write a copy deck explaining my copy enhancements for an all-hands meeting
The Background:
I was contracted by The Home Depot e-commerce team to enhance their Patio Collection PDP presentations. The Data Integrity team wanted to present this material at their all-hands meeting. This copy deck explains the strategic decision-making that goes into writing copy, plus the value-add that a copywriter brings to the table. The best way to demonstrate this? Show, don’t tell. So I did just that using “before” copy, “after” copy, and presentation notes that explains the thinking behind the copy enhancements.
Speaker Notes:
While the marketing copy presents the necessary information, it lacks “feeling,” or tone in the description. For example, “each panel is individually hand woven to perfection by skilled weavers with years of experience” offers a snippet of information behind the construction, yet it doesn’t explain what that means to the customer. How exactly does skilled weaving benefit the end user?
Speaker Notes:
The use of the word “your” in the intro line puts the customer back into the formula, so it doesn’t feel as cold and calculated as selling the set without acknowledging the customer within the formula. The word “your” lets the customer imagine what this set would look like in their backyard – and who they may invite to their next dinner party.
Speaker Notes:
This copy does a better job of using descriptive terms, like “romantic European inspired,” “rich oil bronzed finish,” and “intricately designed seat backs,” but again it’s still talking at the customer, not to someone specific. It isn’t until the last line that the copy finally invites the customer into the conversation.
Speaker Notes:
The rewrite puts the customer back into the decision-making formula from the very first line. It also capitalizes on the strong descriptors from the original version.
The BEFORE description mentions “high-quality U.S. Sunbrella Canvas Paprika fabric,” but doesn’t explain what benefit the “high-quality” fabric offers. The rewrite uses the phrase “weather-resistant Sunbrella covering,” to explain the cushions can be used outdoors since the cushions are weather resistant.
Speaker Notes:
AFTER bullets:
- Moved 2nd bullet in BEFORE copy to first bullet in AFTER to prioritize what’s included in the collection
- Third bullet in AFTER adds info about umbrella hole and cross-sell with matching umbrella
- Added specifics about 5-year warranty on frame (specifies what part is under warranty)
- AFTER bullets spell out dimensions for each item in collection to make it easier on the customer. Otherwise, the customer does not know if this item will fit within their space constraints
- I noticed there is no consistency on handling specifications in collections with more than 2 items. E.g., sometimes vendors use “assembled depth, width and height” dimensions for just the largest item (like a table) rather than for each individual piece. Extra research upfront by the writer minimizes the cognitive load placed on the customer.
Speaker Notes:
The last line, “The Summerville Collection allows for mix and match versatility without sacrificing style,” is actually a great theme for this patio set, thus should be used as the introduction, not a summary statement at the end of the copy.
Speaker Notes:
The AFTER description uses “mix and match versatility without sacrificing style,” idea from the original copy, but rewords it to “gives you flexible, affordable seating options without sacrificing style.” The words flexible and affordable now place this entry-level set on a good, better, best continuum. The copy also leverages the trendy color vinyl seats for mixing-and-matching opportunity (a.k.a. encourages add-on purchases with other colorful chairs).
Speaker Notes:
AFTER Bullets:
1st bullet provides a benefit-driven solution for the customer
Spells out dimensions—making it easier on the customer
Adds cross-sell info for pairing with umbrella
Suggestive selling in last bullet for color upgrades
Speaker Notes:
The intro line presents an interesting idea, but doesn’t complete the thought for the customer. It doesn’t answer ‘why aren’t reservations needed?’
The sentence could be interpreted as:
1) Reservations are no longer required since owning the dining set gives you the privilege to eat at the table anytime, or …
2) The table offers a worry-free construction, so you won’t have to worry (have reservations) about using it outdoors
The rewrite emphasizes this second meaning since it’s a benefit-driven idea
Speaker Notes:
The rewrite uses the concept from the BEFORE version, yet adds the word “reliable” to explain why reservations won’t be needed after purchasing this patio set. The 2nd line furthers this concept by introducing weather-resistant sling chairs to complete the worry-free furniture theme.
The BEFORE copy describes the “grouted porcelain tile top table with a captured rim.” Phrase “captured rim” may be confusing to the customer, so the rewrite states, “grouted porcelain-tile tabletop is encased within an aluminum frame to secure tiles in place,” to clarify the benefit of the captured rim.
Speaker Notes:
The AFTER bullet prioritizes which items are included in the set (big picture), then continues to the details in the last bullet (warranty info)
Speaker Notes:
Although this is only a two-sentence product description, the intro line uses 45 words to describe the set. It’s a mouthful for the reader—and makes it difficult to digest the message. I’m guessing the original writer wrote it this way to cram in all the SEO info at the front end of the copy description, but the writer should not sacrifice clarity to cram in SEO.
Speaker Notes:
The AFTER description uses a simpler introduction, making it easier to read. Descriptions like “backyard soiree,” “sophistication” and “grandiose” demonstrate the higher-end cost associated with this higher-end cast-aluminum patio set. Compared with the entry-level vinyl collection from slide 8, this item is a “best” on good, better, best product positioning, so the copy should reflect that.
Writer Notes:
This slide just shows how many enhancements I did for this patio refresh project. The outcome? Greater seasonal sales on these patio items, plus a reduction in costly returns for the season.