The Client:
A Home Improvement Retailer
The Project:
Rewriting copy provided by an offshore business partner located in another country
The Background:
When economic times get tough, companies are inclined to offshore their business services overseas. That may lead to short-term gains, like reduced labor costs, but outsourcing product copy to non-native English-speaking countries can lead to unintended consequences.
Bad copy may lead to:
- A loss in potential sales:
Good copywriting is easy to read. Poorly written copy forces a customer to work too hard trying to comprehend the message. If a customer wracks their brain trying to understand the copy, they’ll bounce from the website or App and take their business elsewhere. - Higher return rates:
Poorly written copy that isn’t accurate, makes assumptions, or leaves out important details may lead to product returns. It costs money to return and restock a product. - Lack of trust:
A bad experience may shake a customer’s trust in a company. If a customer can’t trust that the company knows what it’s doing, that may affect the customer retention rate (and lifetime customer value).
The Challenge:
- Rewriting the copy without having background info on where the copy originated
- No original sources to refer to for research purposes
- Trying to interpret poorly written descriptions
- Working backward to re-engineer the copy from finished product to brand-new copy
Examples:
Vendor-supplied Product Description
Clean look but it will cause your home vivacious. This set offers stunning elegance, complete with shiny and mat finish. It sure to add a traditional look to the holiday.
My Copy Updates
The Glass Ornaments will bring a stunning elegance to your Christmas tree. Assorted ornaments feature festive red and gold colors in both a shiny and matte finish for the ultimate versatility when decorating for your holidays. Set of 111 total ornaments is sure to bring a colorful delight to your holiday season.
Vendor-supplied Product Description
This gorgeous vanity set features a spacious rectangular table top with a drawer, a mirror and a matching stool. Table may put multi varieties of makeup and other skin and body care use with a drawer to store important needs or items. Mirror for reassurance of one self and matching stool to relax.
My Copy Updates
3-Piece Vanity provides a simple, yet elegant set for your bedroom. Spacious tabletop surface and pull-out drawer give you optimal room for placing combs, makeup and other accessories. Cushioned stool provides a comfortable place to sit in front of the mirror.
Vendor-supplied Product Description
Add this kitchen counter space and beautiful rolling trolley in kitchen to place kitchen items and ingredients for organizing. Easy to move meals towards dining table. Ideally use to store or serve a party of people without using much strength.
My Copy Updates
21 in. W Trolley Kitchen Cart is your first ingredient to successful food prep and utility storage. 2 wire baskets hold small items, such as fruit, veggies and food preparation tools. 4 casters make it easy to wheel cart from the kitchen to the living room, or reposition within the kitchen. Sturdy steel frame and rubberwood tabletop surface. Simply wipe metal surface with a dry cloth for easy upkeep. Measures 16 in. D x 21 in. W x 22 in H.
Vendor-supplied Product Description
The uniquely designed wall clock is a must-have for billiards lovers. Numbers are created as pool balls. Different colors of pool balls to easily read the numbers when looking for time.
My Copy Updates
The uniquely designed Pool Table Wall Clock is a must-have for billiards lovers. Analog clock uses pool balls in place of numbers to add a fun twist on timekeeping. Plastic and resin clock has a brushed finish and green fabric background. 1 AA battery is required (not included). 21 in. W x 2 in. D x 19 in. H.
Vendor-Supplied Product Description
This handsome piece has classic good looks. The single drawer is great for playing cards, a cribbage board, pen and paper and more. Place plants or a phone for styling and convenience in reach when someone calls in.
My Copy Updates
It may be small in stature, but this oval-shaped end table will bring a large presence into your living room. The dual-purpose table serves as accent piece and platform for household plants, lamps or other small items. Composite wood construction has gorgeous cherry finish that brings the charm into any room. Single storage drawer holds small items. Light assembly required. Dimensions: 20 in. D x 20 in. W x 28 in. H.
The Outcome:
Product sales increased 66% YOY as a result of this project, along with SEO updates and other digital optimization efforts within the e-commerce department.
What I Learned:
Writing PDP product descriptions in plain English is still a copywriting fundamental. I also learned it’s easier to write a description from scratch than reworking an offshore description. Last but not least, I learned it’s worth the money for a business to invest in a quality copywriter. Otherwise, the business may lose out on product purchases, plus negatively impact its customer loyalty.